Technology Screws Up, Episode 578

Paula and the baby are fine. The consultant couldn't see any problems, and didn't even scan her. So a week of worrying was all for nothing, and a week of praying did the trick. Thank God.

I love the concept of the cashless society, but when the hardware screws up I start to have my doubts. My catercard at work got stuck in a coffee machine, since when it seems to have developed a bug - the money (all £2.59 of it) has been wiped, and it isn't accepted in any machines. Suddenly I feel like a social pariah, forced to scavenge food and drink from my colleagues or consume only water. This is not good, and it seems the only person on the planet who can put things right is always off work. The tide is turning; the technology I once championed is turning on me, trying to starve me...

I spent some work time coding the page layouts you now see in front of you. I don't feel bad about this - I achieve all I'm asked to and more. Nobody else seemed to mind either - they all leered over my shoulder and loudly commented: "ooh, Java?!" in the manner of those just coming to terms with a three-year old buzzword.

"JavaScript", I took great delight in correcting them.

This journal has become quite arrogant over recent days, hasn't it? But before I return to normal tone, let me compound that by declaring that I would be damn good at ITV's new gameshow, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire! I really enjoy the format of the programme, but I wish they would speed the thing up a bit. Does Tarrant really need to extrapolate the "Correct!"/"Wrong!" bit to such epic proportions? "So, John from Glasgow. You came down here to London this evening with nothing. You built it up to £1000, then to £4000. And now, for £8000, you're saying that the largest castle in England is Windsor. Well..." Oh fucking hell, just say Yes or No you slimy git! It's not big and it's not clever!

But I still phoned up to try to get on the show. I flunked it - some dumb question about food. Well, what would I know about that? I'm an INTP.

I am having big sinking feelings about our planned 400+ mile cycle across Wales. The nights are getting darker, the weather gloomier, and I haven't ridden a bike for over a year. We haven't planned anything, and unlike in 1996 when we did the C2C, we now lead busy working lives. Maybe some sort of roadtrip would be better, stopping at cool places to do some cicular cycling or walking? I think I'll leave Rich some voicemail...

Still no handheld, so this is going down on more stolen paper. In between thoughts I'm doodling on my torso with this black biro. Now there's something you can't do in Word 97.