Taking a day off to relax and recuperate from Saturday's Buachaille Etive Mor sesh', and I get a phone call:

- "Hello, is that Mr Nelson?"

- "yep."

- "Ah, hello there. I hope I've got the right person, I'm trying to contact a Mr Nelson who filled in a questionaire recently which had an award attached."

Woohoo! Finally, all my filling in of those bloody consumer survey questionnaires must've paid off! I began to get giddy, but then she continued:

- "So, can I just check a few details - you're married, aged over 65, are a houseowner, and have an income in excess of £18,000?"

- "Ah, um, not quite.. I'm not married, I'm aged under 65, and I don't own a house."

- "Oh dear, I'm sorry to have troubled you, I must've got the wrong person."

- "I earn about £18k, though - maybe it *is* me? Can I have the prize award anyway?"

- "Um, no."

Bollox.